Shaping grief: When words fail, flowers speak

My name is Rieke Rahlfes. I am a master florist and run my company, Milles Fleurs, in Hanover as a commission-based studio. My work focuses on weddings, events, and funeral floristry: a field you do not choose because it is easy, but because it matters. Under the name Blackline, I have developed a clear philosophy: when our voices fall silent, flowers can speak.Curious to see more of Rieke’s funeral work?

Visit her Instagram: @milles_fleurs_blackline.

*Rieke Rahlfes

Grief is a state in which many people no longer know what they need. In times of grief, decisions feel heavy and words are often hard to find. That is precisely where my work begins. In consultations, we rarely start by talking about flowers. We begin with the person who has passed: their life, their character, their relationships. From these conversations, a design takes shape that feels authentic and supportive.

I work in a highly personal and individual way. Some families wish for a single wreath; others envision a holistic concept for the farewell ceremony: including urn décor, floral installations, candles, lanterns, or spatial elements. Both approaches are equally valid. What matters most is that everything feels coherent and right.

One particularly defining moment was a farewell ceremony in which the children and grandchildren each received a lantern filled with flowers and a real candle. I called this concept Light of Life.

No grand speeches. No explanations. Just light.

All the lanterns were placed together beneath the urn. None stood out; each was equally important. They symbolised that every person comes from the life of the deceased and carries her flame forward in their own way. These quiet moments stay with you.

At another urn burial, I created a wreath of daisies. I invited the family to gather an additional daisy each during a shared walk beforehand. During the ceremony, everyone placed their flower into the wreath. In that gesture, it became visible how each individual had touched the life of the person they were saying goodbye to.

On one occasion, I incorporated a deceased man’s ties into the floral design. His family could hardly remember him without one. The different colours and patterns reflected his personality and moods. For his loved ones, his presence felt almost tangible.

We also design non-denominational funeral ceremonies. At the funeral of a child, the urn ceremony took place by a lake in collaboration with the funeral director. We created a floral backdrop inspired by a rainbow. Through its opening, the water and sky shimmered beyond. There are no words for such a loss. But the setting, the natural surroundings, and the design offered a moment of solace.

From a professional standpoint, the choice of flowers is central. Colours carry emotion: deep reds express intensity and love; lighter tones suggest gentleness and remembrance. Foliage is never merely secondary to me: it provides structure, grounding, and a frame.

Technical elements may remain visible; they offer stability and reassurance. Funeral floristry is both craftsmanship and sensitivity, skill and feeling intertwined.

I work exclusively by appointment, as these conversations require time and care. For larger projects, I coordinate closely with the funeral director to ensure everything unfolds calmly, clearly, and reliably. The less families need to concern themselves with logistics, the more space they have for what truly matters.

Photo: Diana_Frohmüller_Photography